Dealing with Your Crap: One Man's Journey

Pastor Tony is joined by Glenn Burns in this very personal interview. After serving the Lord full-time since 1999, Glenn found himself compromised by sin and secrets that resulted in the loss of his ministry, income, home and wife. God had another plan that restored his marriage - and his purpose. 

Glenn challenges men (and women) to find redemption by doing the work required to be healthy - spiritually, emotionally and mentally by dealing with their crap so that they experience the love of God and blessings that we can never realize until they go through the journey.

He provides four steps to recover from life's wounds and bad behaviors :

1. Call a Glenn - someone who won't judge you and is a strong believer. His number is 850.556.5202 if you don't have that person in your life - and according Glenn, most don't.
2. Commit to journey - it may be painful, but its worth it.
3. Do the work to get to healing.
4. Delight in the outcome - the blessings, peace and love that only comes with a greater understanding of God's love for you and finding God's purpose for your life. 

Today, Glenn and Beth minister full-time to couples who are facing challenges in their marriage through a new ministry, CoupleConnect3 (www.couplesconnect3.com), that was birthed out of this crisis and Live the Life's marriage intensive weekends for people facing divorce (www.livethelife.org/hope-weekend). Additionally, they work daily with men and women in crisis - dealing with mental, spiritual and emotional wounding through Sanctuary Clinic in Monticello, Florida (sanctuaryclinics.com). 

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Transcript

Podcast Intro: 0:02

Welcome to all the king's men, a ministry podcast of the Men's Ministry of restoration place Tallahassee, warning listeners to this podcast will hear authentic life changing stories from men who know Jesus and have experienced his work in their life. Be prepared to be impacted by their stories and relationship with Jesus. Here's your host, Pastor Tony Tolson.

Tony Tolson: 0:24

Good afternoon. Good day. We're so glad that you again have joined us for today's podcast. We have with us today, Glenn burns. Glenn burns left his business career in 1999, to pursue full time vocational ministry. He fell in love with broken people and I have been following the ministry of Glen and bath since I came to Tallahassee 20 years ago, I have been inspired by their commitment to love the unloved, to reach the unreachable and to share the message of faith and hope and love of Jesus Christ to people who, frankly, don't fit anywhere else anymore because of what they've done in their past. And yes, I'm talking about those that have committed horrible crimes, including sex crimes and other things that are just terrible things that happen in humanity. But we believe as part of our core beliefs, and our foundational theology that all are open to the Gospel and all people are redeemable that is the kind of the message of restoration place. And so today, I've got person joining us to talk about this exact message. Glenn has served as a chaplain. He's been a nursing home pastors single minister, he's been director of evangelism. He's been pastor of benevolence missions, he's been board member of various organizations. He also recently founded the Good Samaritan network, which is prominent in Tallahassee and has left that agency now. But I am very, very excited about having Glenn with us today, because he has an important message and important message that is all about men and our need to be healed, to be whole, to work through the things that hold us back. And so today, I want to welcome Glenn to the podcast. So Glenn, tell me a little bit about you were at Good Samaritan for a while. And I know that you started that ministry, and now you've transitioned out, tell us a little bit about that transition and how God used that transition to lead you to where you're at now.

Glenn Burns: 2:36

Sure. We it's interesting, Beth and my wife Beth and I were talking about this the other night is that there's really not being a like a line in the sand where it's okay, I'm done with this work. And I'll go into this work. It's been a process of evolution right along the way from back in the old days, when I first went to work through North Florida Baptist at the rescue mission. I had never stepped foot in a rescue mission. And I went down there to close and I was assigned to close the rescue mission. I got given my calling. I walked on that campus, I walked around, you know, superficial looking at things. And a gentleman walked up off the street, not a stereotypical homeless guy. I was able to minister to him. And but by the time I left there, I jumped my truck and went back and started with my pastor and arrived and everybody else's said I, I know what I'm supposed to be doing. I had been a businessman for 30 years. But I said, No, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't have to have any more intelligence, any more education or any more money or anything to do this, I can make a difference. I just knew it and never waver from that April day in 99. To today, but the location has changed periodically. The partner in ministries have changed periodically, but the call has been the same. So its emphasis has changed. Occasionally, I still primarily work with men personally. Of course, in that journey, I lost a wife, kids grew up, life changed. But I have a new wife, new, this may be 2022 years new. She of course, is an incredible woman, as she came alongside me that expanded the ministry to include start to include women. So Beth just kept going as she was a kindergarten teacher at a Christian school when they started. She has been an incredible force in our community to help women that I'm going to shortcut it to the as far as the history part to go to how that developed and what we're doing today. We were ministering, we hit the ground running when we got married. My wife had died the year before. And I had one daughter left a 14 year old left at home. And Beth had adopted three girls prior to that, that all also were orphans. All of all, we had at one point we had five teenage daughters, all who were orphans, all of whose mother had died. And that began our functional part of our women's ministry. And one thing led to another Beth had left her teaching job and started helping me and started reaching out to women on the street and opened a home and just kept developing it the point that relates to this time in history was we were we hit the ground running. In fact, we had our wedding she likes to remind me of this I said you know baby how ballplayers get married sometimes at home plate she goes no as We'll just take my word for it, they do that. And I said, Well, you know, we're gonna spend so much time with the rescue mission. What do you think we haven't are waiting at the Chapel. She said I was thinking more like Dorothy Bo than but you know, okay. So we did. And it was just that way, we were, again a house full of wounded young ladies. We had a rescue mission 150 And our optimum time of men, you know, from all walks of life from but mostly out of prison and such. We were just busy and running and working and doing what we do. Kids growing up and one thing led to another, again, several evolutions for as far as who are partnering agencies were in different churches and such, which created different leadership relationships, always moving forward, always ministering over a period of time I had some I had some really some deep wounds from just like all of us, you know, things that happen as you're growing up. And one thing another. In my case, they were kind of buried I call it like having cancer in remission. There were some wounds that were there that my previous wife knew about, because she knew me before I was a Christian. And I knew her before she was a Christian, and then independent each other, we got saved cross paths, again, get married, but I could tell her anything. In fact, I didn't have to tell her everything. She knew everything, no matter what I was dealing with, I could talk to her when when she died. I had been walking the walk for a good number of years. At that point, I'd been on church staffer for a number of years at that point, my home was a good Christian home with what we watch on television, everything was solid, no pornography issues, no, nothing at all the things that had been a part of my password, were just that they're part of my past when she died. This is where the remission kind of waned and the the disease started coming back. And I was just shocked. And I can who can I tell? I'm on pastoral staff right now. And I can't talk to my wife because her previous husband had abused her and had not been faithful to her this. So I can't talk to her about these things. Because she's she's just as incredible. I've known this woman for 25 years now. I've never heard her tell an intentional lie. I've never heard her say a cuss word. I mean, she is she's a hard person to live with. But she's too good. But she's sincere. I mean, it's who she is who people see her church. So she has it all. It kind of created a trap. Yeah, the reason I'm telling this story this way is because I want guys to hear this. The enemy knows how to get each one of us. He has a trap that's specific for each one of us. And my trap was you can tempt me with cocaine or alcohol. I mean, I'd been through all that stuff. I was good. How you trap a lot of ministers is with more ministry. Yes, that's our addiction. That is true. And so then on top of that, then going into the flesh issues. And then this catastrophic situation happens and I'm hurting them wounded, I'm weak, and I can't talk to my wife about it. Because you know, some of the very things that I would want to talk to her about would be the things that she would have killed her. And that's that was the trap. And it was a good trap. And so I fought it for year after year after year. And I fought it mostly by doing more ministry. And I was good. I mean, it was I love, like I said, I got to see the Lord do so many incredible things. And it was just an incredible journey. But all the time. In fact, I call it the King David syndrome. All the time, we were battling and trying to survive, I was good. When I was at war, I was a good kids grow up ministry. Finally 2020 I was here with the earlier 2020 was our best year financially in every other way. And I finally didn't have to work as hard and all sudden, I found myself on the top of the of the palace walking at the pool tonight. And I was just too I had too much time. And I didn't have to I didn't have any accountability. I stopped slowly over the years, I stopped being a part of men's groups and one thing or another and I was just too busy. And plus, I'm wearing men all day every day. So my rationalization was how much more Men's Ministry do you need. And so I'm isolated. And I just started struggling mentally and emotionally and eventually acted out. And so I'm stunned. And I don't know what to do. And I couldn't call anybody because as I was talking about earlier, I'm the guy that fixes things. So there was the trap. In the last couple of years, it started getting worse and worse. I'm struggling, I'm struggling, I can't figure out where to go and who to talk to. I kind of bled out a little bit, but it was so clandestine the way I said it. And plus people are looking at me as the guy that doesn't need help. I wasn't transparent. I wasn't honest about it. I certainly wasn't talking to Beth about it. And finally, I'll never forget this Beth Beth knew something was wrong. Because I'm getting grouchy here. And I'm less I'm more often myself and this that she didn't, she's so good. She just she thinks on these things. Things are lovely, kind of pure. She wasn't thinking that the kind of stuff I would deal with one day we went on a little short trip. And so something popped up on my screen or something that she it wasn't anything I had solicited, but it was not something she had been on my screen and she said what is that? And I said I don't know. I mean, I have it I really had, it was splitting hairs. But I really hadn't solicited that particular conversation but but she knew something's wrong. It's we're having this little back and forth conversation. And finally, she gets really angry at me and she says, I don't know what's wrong, but you better fix it. And I said, if I could fix it, I would have fixed it. And when those words came out of my mouth, there was one like there was a lady now the poison. I knew then for the first time and this is gonna sound so stupid. But at the first time I finally realized I can't fix this. I mean, I know the Scriptures inside Now surely, and I know the spirit. I mean, I've seen God do things. Surely I can fix this. I can't fix it. I need guys to hear that by the way. You can't fix it yourself. and I knew the scripture that talks about Confession all that I had kind of manipulated that into a version of confession, but it was never truly letting out, you know, just to truly transparent out or cry for help. The next Monday, I called a good friend of mine who was the most qualified person I knew because his life was on paper on recorded, he was recorded as being more decorated than me. And he's a trained psychologist, and I knew him from work. It's from doing some ministry work with him. And he is he was on sabbatical. And he had just called me a couple of weeks prior to that and said, Look, I've got a lot of free time right now, if you have any of your guys from the rescue mission or whatever that need help. I can get free counselling free therapy an hour week for up to five guys indefinitely until I go back to work. So this is two weeks later. So I called him up and I said, you know that offer you made? He said, Yeah, I said, Can we start with me, he jumped in his vehicle, drove from Monticello over to my house, got my RV with me. And for 45 minutes, I just regurgitated it out. I just poured it all out nothing to hide ugly as possibly anything I could think of what I got through he never blinked when I got through. He looked at me, he goes, Well, I need to tell you to I need to tell you two things. And these are not hypothetical First off, because everything I had was in the ministry, the home we lived in was a ministry home ever. The vehicles were owned by the ministry, I had long since sold out, I'd used all my money from my business days. And given everything I had, I didn't own one personal thing of them one old RV, he said, you've lost everything. You've lost your wife, you've lost your ministry, you've lost your income, you've lost everything, except for two things. You haven't lost Jesus, and you haven't lost me and the people that really love you, and you're about to find out who they are. And it's going to shock you. Some of the people you're sure love, you will turn on you in a minute. And some people that you don't even know like him, I barely knew him. He said, But God has sent me to be your Jonathan, I know the way out of this. And it's going to be a painful path. But I'm gonna be right here with you all the way. And he says endless began. And the process from that point to this conversation has been one incredible journey. And I always hesitate to say something like this because it sounds so flippant, unless you've been all these miles with me. And all these tears and all this heartbreak and all this pain that I've caused, and that I've received, I wouldn't trade it. Because I've already seen the effect on people that I know that are like me that are out there that can't tell anybody. And I'm not just talking about normal men sins, I'm talking about just dark places, and hopelessness. I knew from the ministry we had before and our ministry used to we used to say that, in fact, my mission statement now part of my personal mission statement as I co create a world of new hope and opportunities for loss, wounded and sometimes hopeless people because hopeless, wounded, we've all been wounded. We've all been helped, you know, we all hurt we've all hurt and various things. But hopeless is a dangerous place. Yes. Firstly, is hopeless, is a danger to themselves and society. And there's a lot of hopeless people in the world right now. And getting in more every day depression. And the work we're doing now is just, I mean, this backlog all over our country, and I'm sure all over the world, but certainly all over our country. It's a scary, dangerous place for our for humanity to be in. But the darker it is, the lighter the brighter the light shines.

Tony Tolson: 13:06

Yeah, I think about the hopelessness and the new thing that people talk about as anxiety. I mean, crippling anxiety. It's hard for me to understand that because I've never felt it chronically. I have had moments of anxiety in my life, I have had moments of hopelessness, but we're seeing people now have crippling anxiety that prevent them from doing normal everyday things. Definitely. Like you said, The devil knows where to push us. Yeah. And I know there are men listening today that can can identify with you. And with me, when we talk about that we've hit walls that we we had behaviors and thoughts and actions that had been hidden, that we knew we couldn't tell anyone because the cost of of confession was too great. But what you have found is that the benefit of confession resulted in freedom. Yeah. And healing. Yeah,

Glenn Burns: 14:05

by the way, I did lose everything. I lost the ministry. Basically, I have no income. I'm living in that old RV now. But I did lose my wife. I did lose her by the way, but I got her back. I didn't wow, I didn't lose her. She never divorced me. But I remember in one therapy conversation on the phone because of COVID we can be in the same room at that time. I was out of the place getting therapy and she she couldn't come on campus because of COVID. And I they had a thing called the disclosure letter. Oh my gosh. I had to write and they know what you're they know how you hide manipulate. So they could they could make you write a real disclosure letter. And I wrote everything, cost, frequencies, everything I had done, and I had to read that to her. And I'm, as I read it to her with a therapist that next to me and her therapist, unfortunately wasn't with her. She didn't have a therapist with her she's at home. Listen this garbage come out of this man that she trusted and that she loved and was devastating. And I remember when I got, I finished reading the letter, and she had a chance to respond, they actually let them therapeutically the person gets a couple of days, and then they actually read the thing back to you. But even there on the spot, her response was, I don't ever want to see that guy again. He's dead to me. But the new guy that God's working on out there that y'all are working on, I can't wait to meet him. Wow. So that was the death of my, my old marriage and the birth of my new one in one sentence. But it was so devastating to hear and to hear her pain. Oh, my gosh, it was. So that was the worst day of my life. And I've had a one a wife died in my arms before. I've had children deal to go through terrible things before. I've seen bad things. The worst day of my life was having to read that letter to my wife.

Tony Tolson: 15:44

I can only imagine that it just sounds sounds horrible. To me. It's one thing to confess to the Father. Yes. Because that's between you and him. And while he has ultimate control, it doesn't feel near as scary as telling your wife, you know, I mean, most of us have healthy fear, respect of our wives. And I say that jokingly, but I don't want to displease my wife. I don't want to do that, because it'll hurt her or, you know, it'll, it'll make her feel bad. I also love me enough to know that she can put a hurtin on. That had to be just a crazy feeling for you to be that transparent. I can't. Renee, and I have that kind of transparency. But I don't have anything to hide. Yeah. But being that transparent when you have something to hide, and I've had things to hide in the past that I didn't tell anybody.

Glenn Burns: 16:37

I'll tell you, Tony, a few years before this, when I was trying to we were working on symptoms, right, going to marriage things and listen to CD stuff we were on. We were on a sabbatical driving RV, cross country, middle of nowhere, Texas. I'm upfront driving like I usually does, she's in the back, and I'm listening to this CD, or whatever it was. And this guy's talking about one thing or another and, and also, I had this epiphany. So I said, Beth apparently tell you something. She said what is now remember when I married her, she was divorced and had three kids, three children that she had adopted. She's trying to race. And so she was she was working three jobs. And wow, you know, that I see, you know, we got married, and my previous wife had been a single mom with three kids, little kids when I married her and I, you know, had a wonderful life with her and was able to really be a positive impact on her and the kids. So I thought, I thought I knew how to do this. And so I told Beth, I said, you know, I think I figured out our problem. So we got married, you were looking for a hero. And I thought I was one. And now we both know that's not true. So what do we do now? Now this is before I really, truly disclose anything. This is just superficial. But it's still that was true. And she said much bigger. So she's a trooper, she said, well, we'll just pick it up from here. We'll just go from here. Wow. So that was five years before I really truly disclosure I'm telling you about. And so you're right. I've like I said, I've been through painful things in my life, but to a degree to in large part, they weren't things I did to somebody else to hurt somebody else. They were where I failed, maybe, but they weren't really, you know, self imposed, so to speak. As much as this there was nowhere to hide. There's just me totally out there in the open, ugly, and nothing to hide, nothing to hide, no rationalization, no justification, no minimization, no nothing. Just out there ugly, and, and in front of the person to be it's kind of like sinning, but we like you're right. You know, as human beings, we no matter how close we are with the Lord, we know he can see everything but it's not like you can see his eyes see and you know, I'm rubbing her eyes. Yes, the crushed look in her eyes, and the pain and the tears and the the anger and the the in the inevitable consequences, some of which is you can't fix that, you know, even even when she wanted, forgive me and go move on. It doesn't take much. I mean, I drove over here from Monticello tonight, 40 minutes away. She didn't say this. Well, and we have a we're doing so good that we both into therapy we've been we've done so much work and it's so good. As I told the other day acid, our life is our marriage has never been better. Our relationship has never been closer, because I had nothing to hide now, unfortunately, I'm healed now. And so I'm in now it's not that it's like the old sand. It's not that I never get a bad thought. But you know, that burden had to build a nest in my head anymore, you know, and I can talk to her about it. But still, it still hurts my heart a little bit to know. She didn't say anything. But since I how she'll say this. I'll say, Okay, I'm gonna head on over to Tony. And she goes, you want to go with you? Now she says like, we're gonna go out to dinner. But I know in her heart of hearts. This is only a year and a half ago that this came out. So she's a long way. I don't know if I'll ever she'll ever be able to totally trust me now because she doesn't want to write. It's not a mean thing. It's a fact. And so that's a consequence. So I lost even even though I didn't lose her as far as me and my wife and I have a closer relationship now than we ever did. Every time I wake up in the morning in our RV, and she doesn't have a home to go to. That hurts. Yeah, she doesn't say that. About a bit hurts when she's looking for her garden. And it's not there when she's looking at our bank account and it's not there. It won't hurt when she gets an old rattletrap van to drive because I can go buy her another van. That's consequence. Yeah, we all those things are there every day. Yeah. Through through the grace of God, however, so is he, and I'm watching her grow. In fact, one of the comments that our shared therapists, a wonderful lady shared with us a year and a half ago, well, a year into our therapy sessions, Beth was having one of those reoccurring Mattamy things. And this doctor says she had Dr. Day, she is phenomenal. She said, Beth, I want to help you with this. If you had never met Lynn, the things you're dealing with the renewal right now, we still believe that you still need to have them dealt with it because you're medical, and they have to deal with them. But the pain you have the fears you have the lack of trusting God that you have. They were already there. They were there. You had that's your own wounds that we're working with. We're not working on Glenn stuff and work on yourself. Now.

Tony Tolson: 20:54

I would like for you to take a few minutes and talk to the people listening specifically talk to the men who can totally relate to your story. They've got stuff. They maybe they've confessed it, maybe they haven't. But what are the steps they need to take in order to begin addressing this?

Glenn Burns: 21:12

Well, the first thing and like I said, for me, was the realization to say out of my mouth now. I'm not saying they're necessarily say this to their wife. Good. Because, by the way, one things David told me when I first talked to him, he said you can't go until you can't have this conversation with Beth right now. It will kill her. I mean, she will be emotionally destroyed. We have to get her into therapy, you're in, you're going to be in therapy, you're going to be working on some work, and we're going to get her in therapy. And then we're going to so she'll be ready. By the time she has to hear the ugly, the really ugly of this. And so what we were doing that for next week or two, I was talking to him every day and and she I all she asked me was Is she goes how'd it go? I said was horrible. Because it was and I said I work with him. And you know, I'll tell you more later. So about two weeks went by, we're walking through the house, and all of a sudden out of the blue. She looks at me in the face. She goes Okay, that's it. I want to know everything. And I want to know right now. Well, there's no, not saying it now. Right? So I had to tell her the the best I could on impromptu what I was dealing with. And it did Devastator. And that's when we said well, when I called him said I had to tell her. And he said, Okay, I need you to leave the home now. I'm gonna put, we're gonna surround her with people, you need to come away, you need to go to a place called Honey Lake, which was a Christian mental health clinic. And he said, we have a pastoral tract version. He said that for my ego, because it really is no different for a pastor or a plumber what they do, right? It's all phenomenal, by the way. And so I go out there and I'm for about a week I was just a zombie. And I'm hiding out. I don't want to I don't know these people. I don't want to talk to any of these people. I just, you know, have gotten into these groups. So I'm not sharing anymore. And I have to share and they didn't make you. Right. And then finally, what Friday night. I don't know if you've ever heard this, there's a thing called the Father's love letter. Oh my gosh. It's it's all scripture. And it's read by a guy who sounds like God's voice. And it's got music in the background. And it's really what God thinks about you, as opposed to what you think and what the what the enemy has told you about you. And there's a whole process to get to that. But that night, I had a breakthrough. And I went oh my gosh, not a breakthrough as in. Aren't I horrible? I already knew that part. Not a breakthrough. Like there is hope. Because God loves me. So to answer your question, the beginning part is the first step for him. I will say this because I'm the one speaking that somebody out there is listening is called me. i What David Hoskins did for me, I'll never be able to get over this. This was this was truly a friend's sticking closer than a brother. This is somebody who listened to me, did not judge me. didn't throw up when I was talking. It takes it almost takes the confidence that the person you're telling is worse than you. You can't talk to somebody who's better than you. Because it's embarrassing. But I'm gonna tell you guys, nobody out there listening. This is worse than me. And if I if you are I'll just introduce you to David know what Georgia David, his story is incredible. That honestly, that helped me. I feel you think that we were trained, you know, you'll talk to your pastor, I couldn't talk to my pastor. Right? Even though I know he's not perfect. I just couldn't tell him that. I mean, it's part of that sense was the part of the barrier was the thought of how the disappointed these people are gonna be in me. You have to be able to tell somebody that it doesn't matter if they're disappointed in you. Your health, your healing matters more than what they think about you. And so, first step is you got to talk to somebody that you trust, obviously, but that is going to judge you if right and by the way, almost very few of us know that person. Right? Very few of us know anybody that we say. If I told him the worst of worse, he wouldn't judge me, because it's just so human to judge. Yes. And as the church we just we judge and shoot. Yeah, we do. Well, I'm I'm a voice. Yeah, and I have a phone number and you can call me.

Tony Tolson: 25:04

So the first thing is to reach out to somebody that you can be honest, be honest with and be confident that you will not be judged correct. And so is it okay, if I give you a phone? Absolutely. So first thing you could do is call Glenn. If Glenn's not your person, find someone who has. But there's credentials for those people, right? Yes, they need to be a strong believer. Yeah, they need to be someone who will hold you accountable for the next step, not just confession, so you can feel better, and then you walk away from it. That's right. So Glenn's number is 850-556-5202. Right? It can call Glen. And Glen will not tell me that you called? That's correct. It is 100% confidential.

Glenn Burns: 25:49

And by the way, in tying this into our ministry, Beth and I Beth went through this journey with me, right, so Beth understands the wife side of this very, very vividly. And I understand the data. And it's sometimes just the wife, who's had the struggle in the husband who's trying to deal with it. There are other people I'm sure, much more qualified than we are probably, but as far as credentials, but as far as education and all that good stuff. But there's nobody more qualified to experiential that we are. We have been through this and we want to do this. A lot of people go through this and they want they want to be as far away from this as they can get, understandably, right. I don't ever want to go there again. We are living in this because we are we feel like God has called us to do this. I asked God This, by the way, numerous times over the years. I know the scripture says whom he loves the chastises. So I would honestly say in my own work, I think it was do you not love me? I mean, I don't feel like I've been chastised. And I'm, I don't I know what I'm doing is a sin i What's wrong with this. And when they finally did get chastised, and it was, it was painful, in a really kind of weird way, or like, Oh, thank you, thank you, Father. That was affirmation that he does love me. Right. And he won't let me go on like that. And he will not just wipe away that Beth's calls it to respecting the consequences. And we're not trying to get over the things. We're just trying to get through the things. And we're trying to dwell in it long enough to really, really have these insights. So that when other as God uses us to help other people with it, we won't, it won't be just some academic thing is, like I said, we may not have the credentials, everybody else does. But we've got the experiential training to do this. And that and we know, it's, it's just a, you talk about a pandemic, I mean, it's a pandemic, the problems the that are that are brought on by what the pressure of the world, the way we know it today, is, is really bringing to the surface a lot of traumas that a lot of people have lived with for all their life. And they may be I'm 72 years old. I mean, you think by now, you'd have either figured out or be settled one way or the other, that you're not gonna it's not gonna get any better. But oh, well, this is it. But I've seen people, both in therapy, and I've seen them, just interact with them. I see I see him in the pews. Just settled. Right? They've just so this is as good as it's gonna get, right and when the Lord but when I asked the Lord that will sit down with me. And he said, No, in fact, I'm just repairing a breach, because we've got so much more to do. I thought, Well, what about the people that are right near the end of their life? And you see, people sometimes come to know the Lord and Savior, you know, 90 years old, they get saved? Well, why not? couples that have been married 4050 years and think this is as good as it's gonna get, but it's not right, as much better than this planet.

Tony Tolson: 28:31

So the first thing, call somebody and it sounds like the second thing, commit to the journey.

Glenn Burns: 28:37

Yes, there's not a quick fix. There is no take a pill or, or take a class or, or there's no gonna be any consequences. You know, embracing the consequences, which is not an easy thing was part of the journey. You know, I had to say, there's, like I said, I keep looking for because I've always been an optimistic person. And God has blessed me so much over the years. And I, I keep thinking, Well, you know, all of a sudden, we're gonna go, but that's why I love that scripture when the guys are about to get thrown in the fire. You know, and our God can deliver us. But even if he doesn't, now I know God is gonna I'm gonna get delivered go to heaven one night, but he may, will use the will use us and use me specifically in ministry, the rest of my life. Absolutely. Yes. And so I'm just, I'm not enjoying the journey in the sense of Disneyland, right? But I'm enjoying the journey and the sense of the depth and the quality and the substance for what we're getting to do. This is not superficial work. I didn't take homelessness was superficial. I don't think prison work is superficial. And they're not. And certainly, marriage healing. I would call this more marriage healing than anything else, because you don't have to be committing affairs or doing anything wrong necessarily to be being ripped off for what God wants to do. So I call it a marriage, more marriage healing. I'll never forget, right? In the early days when we were clearing out our apartment where we live in our ministry, and I assumed she'd be there after I died, she'd be the grandmother in that home at Chelsea house forever. I mean, I never thought Beth would ever have to leave there. And we're in the house literally cleaning out our personal effects having to move out. And so she's crying. Well, of course, she's crying, right. And so at one point, she comes around the corner, and she's crying. She's looking at me. And I said, I said, I know. But she goes, No, that's not what I'm crying about. I said, Why are you crying, she said, God just told me that you were healed, and that our marriage is healed. And all we have to do now is learn how to walk in it. And it's got to be a long, slow, painful journey, learning how to walk again. That's all we're doing. We're not we're not we're not looking for healing, we are healed. And we're gonna have to learn to walk in it. And I held her we cried, we held on we, and it's been painful. But it's been. It's, it's there's been a piece to the process. Because he's been with us. He's that third wheel, our new ministry called connect three, which stands for quarter three strands. And it talks about connecting to God to each other into community. And that's a holistic approach to any healing really, in any any life. But especially for those that have gotten that are in are going through a difficult time in their marriage. And that's our own individual idea with me and by herself. Beth deals with women, so by herself, and then we deal with couples, which is the the kind of the focus primarily on what we're doing now.

Tony Tolson: 31:27

So you were earlier in our conversation, before we came on on line here, you were talking about the woundings, can you just list a few of those? Sure.

Glenn Burns: 31:37

Men's, the Marked for Christ, which is part of the curriculum I work with now is primarily five wounds and just off the top there sadness, shame, anger, deceit and fear, those five primary wounds that men deal with. And at any given point in time, you may, in fact, on our aftercare program, when we get together we say well, which which if the wounds are you dealing with primarily this, and it may not be that you're having a bad week or thing. But if you're going to pick one that's kind of been the one most forefront joy, well, maybe anger, that's more common one, by the way. Sometimes sad is one thing we've discovered, by the way is it's far less painful to be angry than it is to be sad. So men go to anger, right? We don't go to sad, that's too painful. Shame. That's we don't want to talk about that. There's evidence of what I'm talking, we can bury that deceit, that's common and fear. And we don't want to we don't act like we're afraid. But we're afraid of a lot of things. And so when you deal with that, and there's a process to get to that where you're really able to deal with it. It's not just saying the words, it's actually how do you deal with that. Our focus, as a ministry is about the Maya ministry is to not try to be therapist, there are great that we work with great therapists that can do all that part. Ours is to tie the scriptural truth and principles to real day to day life to not just read about it to the practices that right, you have to live in to be healed. In fact, at sanctuary where I work now, the one of the models is a place for healing and finding purpose. I said, you know, you can't be really paying much attention to purpose if you're hurting. Yeah. And if you're just healthy, but you have no purpose, then you're drifting. That's right. So those are two very important pillars. You got to be healthy, and you have to be have a purpose. And you have to know what that purpose is and be on purpose. Because God tells us he's given. He has a plan for everybody. Jeremiah 2911, but most people don't know what the plan is. Right. And God's not hiding the plan. Think about who we're talking about here. So what we're in the process of it's kind of like the, the the quote that's attributed to Michelangelo when they said, How did He create that incredible statue of David. And he reportedly said, I just took away everything that wasn't David. I went to the rock, and I took away everything that wasn't the modern day version. That by the way, was it wasn't karate kid when he had him, close his eyes and then trim the bonsai tree, right? What did you see? You know, take away everything that's not in that vision. Right? So when we look at our life, and we don't know what our purpose is, close your eyes figuratively or literally see who God has called you to be. Where when are you on mission? Where are you in the flesh versus on mission or anti mission and take away that other stuff? That's not you get rid of it. That's what we're talking about. We're taking away the things that are not who God designed me to be. They're the things that I learned with bad bad training over the years. So that's part of the process.

Tony Tolson: 34:22

Yeah, love it. So let me let me recap. Okay. Call somebody who can help you that you trust, but not somebody that you're that is so good and your mind that you won't be honest with them. Right? They may be great, but you can't if you can't be honest with them don't bother column, right. But make sure they're believers and strong believers. They're not a believer, then here, you're going down a wrong path. Yeah. Second, commit to the journey. The number three put in the work. And number four, delight in the outcome. Yes, the first step is to make that call men. If you are out there and you're listening to this and you're thinking, man, I've got this thing I need to let go. And it may not be something horrible, you've done it may be a wounding. And as Glen, you and I talked, we see the world through the lens of our experiences and through our wounding, and we interpret what what's coming at us good or bad through those lenses. So sometimes we misinterpret what's happening to us. And it holds back what can happen positive in our life, because we're seeing things through a negative lens,

Glenn Burns: 35:28

because the enemy is a master deceiver. Correct. And so

Tony Tolson: 35:31

there's something better or for all of us, and so my heart is that there will be men that reach out to you or someone that begin this journey towards true healing. So they, they can really, really live in the blessing and, and the love of God in a way that is so contagious, that it changes the world around us. When we do that, that's when we we know we're living in our purpose, right? And I love what you said, just cut out everything that isn't in God's plan for you and closing your eyes, getting into Word praying, and asking God what that is, is very important. And that cutting out is a painful process.

Glenn Burns: 36:11

And that's where the iron sharpening iron comes in, by the way, cuz sometimes, you know, a blind spot, by definition, I can't see, but if my brother will hold me accountable for it, and not just pat me on the back, it's a Alborz are just being boys. You know, that's just us. That's just being a guy, you know, then we can find the real truth and the real healing the real satisfaction.

Tony Tolson: 36:27

Well, I'm excited because I believe we've started a journey here. And there's gonna be some men that reach out and women to like you said, your wife, Beth can help if they need to get a hold of Beth, it could just literally text you at that 850-556-5202 And you will share Beth's information as correct. It is about coming together your you cannot solve these things on your own right. That's what the devil wants us to believe in. If he can isolate us, then he can beat us. So we've got to come together. Everything you need is in the house. It's the kingdom, the kingdom mindset. Get into God's kingdom and God's mindset, come together with his his children, and let let you together with God's help lead you to something that's so much better than anything you can imagine. Don't live it alone. And so today, I want to thank you for joining us for this podcast. Glenn, thank you. This is such an amazing message and I so look forward to hearing some things back from you. Remember to share this podcast with other people our Facebook page as well make sure you're getting on that. We're so thankful for you today and we look forward to hearing from you soon and we'll see you next time.

Podcast Outro: 37:44

Thank you for joining us today on all the king's men. Please share, subscribe and like the podcast anytime you can. Contact Pastor Tony email Tony at my rpt.org He would love to connect with you. On behalf of Pastor Tony and all of us at restoration place. Have a great week and we will see you next time.