All the Kings Men
Being a man of character with Christian values is a challenge in world that has lost its way. All the Kings Men is a podcast for men who want to leave a Godly legacy. Weekly guests share their stories of how God made them victorious over life's struggles. All the Kings Men is a ministry podcast of Restoration Place. Join our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090682981273!
All the Kings Men
A Spiritual Course: Mentorship and Decision Making in Faith
Have you ever found yourself feeling uneasy about the expectations and legalism of faith? What if you could rediscover the power of faith and find your path back to spirituality? Join us, your hosts, Pastor Tony Tolson and Nick Nunez, as we candidly talk with our special guest, Terence Huie, to unravel these complexities. We dive deep into our personal experiences and the societal norms that encourage early marriage, often making us miss out on the quintessential experiences of youth. Tune in to our heart-to-heart talk as we share insights on wise decision-making and the influential role of mentorship within the church.
Growing up in a traditional black church can be both a blessing and a challenge. Feeling the weight of societal expectations and cultural changes, we often find ourselves questioning our faith. In this episode, we highlight how a conversation with God can lead us back to our spiritual path. In our introspective conversation with Terrence, we delve into the role of black churches in our lives amidst an ever-evolving culture.
Navigating faith and spirituality is not a solitary journey. It involves forming genuine connections with others and finding a sense of community in the church. From overcoming introversion to the importance of mentorship, we discuss it all. We also touch on how maintaining our personal boundaries and providing unconditional love and acceptance can transform our relationships within the church. We hope to inspire you to embrace humility, openness and a strong support system for a fulfilling spiritual journey. Let's grow together in faith and community!
You can reach Pastor Tony at akm@myrpt.org.
Please join our Facebook page to connect with Pastor Tony, other men and bonus content.
If you are local to Tallahassee, FL and would like to join our Men's Group, sign up here.
Welcome to All the King's Men, a ministry podcast of the Men's Ministry of Restoration Place, tallahassee. Warning listeners to this podcast will hear authentic, life-changing stories from men who know Jesus and have experienced His work in their life. He prepared to be impacted by their stories and relationship with Jesus. Here is your host, pastor Tony Tolson.
Speaker 2:Good day, good evening. Welcome again to All the King's Men. I'm here with my co-host, the great Nick Nunez. We're so thankful to have you, Nick, You're joining remotely today. How are you doing?
Speaker 3:Good, good, how's everybody?
Speaker 2:Living the dream brother. That's all we can do, right.
Speaker 3:That's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's busy work week. I don't know about you, but it's been busy for me and I know Terrence is with us today. Terrence Huey is a relatively new member at Restoration. We'll get to talk with him in just a few minutes, but in our prep talk we were talking about how busy it is and I'm just thankful that those of you that are listening or taking the time, whatever time of the day or night it might be to just listen in and get some encouragement, because it's important for us men to get fed and to hear from each other and to get the encouragement we need to be able to get through some things.
Speaker 3:Definitely.
Speaker 2:So, nick, I just want to thank you. Nick's been really helping us around the campus there on North Monroe getting some things done and I'm thankful for that. And I know, nick, you work a full-time job and you're coming up and doing additional work up there and I appreciate that because I know so much of it needs to be done. Nick entered an area where we have children and we don't always use the lights during the services because we have other lighting that we use in that space, but all of the fluorescence in that entire section, that big room, had actually quit working and he came in and he said what kind of haunted house thing is this? And so you went up there and I think you and Ben got some things done. I'm thankful for that. That's what it's about right.
Speaker 2:As men we kind of have to identify. When there's some opportunity, something needs to be done, take it on yourself, figure out how to get it done and move on. So appreciate it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we still got some more stuff put up, but we got that room pretty well taken care of. It still has about four more lights to be changed out, but we'll get them there.
Speaker 2:Yep, always something to do. So today we got with us Terrence Huey. I mentioned that earlier. Terrence is a young guy. He's sitting here in the studio with me. Thank you for joining, terrence. Yeah, I'm glad to be here. Yeah, so tell us a little bit about yourself. Tell us what you do you know you're in the. Just to be clear, you're in the under 30 crowd, right. One more year. One more year. You're still there. Hey celebrate every minute.
Speaker 4:Yep, what's?
Speaker 2:your name.
Speaker 3:I was just wondering how old he was. Yeah, 29. It's scaring me.
Speaker 4:I'm hitting. It feels like a crisis a little bit, Not gonna lie, Like it's like, oh man, because you think of things you could have did in your 20s, like especially like that 25 to 27 range and like seeing other people kind of you know, doing all this traveling and I didn't get much done like I wanted to. So now it's like I'm playing catch up a little bit, so trying to get over that a little bit, but you know it'll be all right.
Speaker 2:It will be all right, but I did hear a therapist recently on a podcast saying her new specialty is working with people in their early 30s grieving over what they didn't get done in their 20s, and I think that's. That's just the occultral change, nick. You and I have talked a little bit about this.
Speaker 3:like people, younger folks- they did nothing done in their 30s either.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but there's a.
Speaker 2:There was a sense for us when we were growing up, nick, we were, we were talking last night that we were just a few years apart, I think four or five years apart, um, and when there was a sense that you had to, like, get at it a little bit, you know, when you, as soon as you could, get out of the house, get into a job, get moving, and there's a sense now with the young folks that that's different. Right, it's it. You know, take some time figure out who you are Like. Nick, I didn't even know that was an option. Did you have that option?
Speaker 3:I mean back then, which wasn't too long ago, I mean everybody was getting married young and stuff. And now these kids are smart enough to not get married too young, but everybody was getting married in their early 20s. But you know, on my day and I did the same thing. At 24, I got married and 26, I had my first, not one, my only son.
Speaker 4:In defense. It's expensive. That's the best way I could put it, and yeah, and that's why I didn't get to go.
Speaker 3:I've never been out of the country, haven't been on a lot of vacation, because I was always having a family, because, you know, I married with a woman that had two kids already, so I had to care them. So, yeah, y'all are doing things a little better now with just waiting and enjoying, you know, things if you can and trying to find the right job and all that stuff which I think should have been taught more in the church. But it really wasn't and everybody was just like hurry and get married, you know, so they were doing well that was that old scripture is better to marry than to burn right All that burning all
Speaker 2:that burning lust? Right, we couldn't manage it, we just had to get married. But the truth is is we can manage it, right. We can manage it. It's not easy, but as men, we can manage our, our lust and our and our sexual desires and all that stuff.
Speaker 3:Sex is everywhere. It's prevalent in every, all the music, every genre, all the movies, even regular TV shows. Back in the day, you know, you didn't have a whole it was. It was kind of hidden in the TV shows to talk about sex. As a kid I didn't understand it. As I got older I was like oh, all these jokes, you know even a little stuff like golden girls and stuff. You know, that was just different things out there.
Speaker 2:A golden girls was a risque man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, don't, don't feel bad that you didn't get everything done in your twenties. I mean, you're just now hitting about to hit your thirties and this is the golden era. This is the time where you figure that, with kind of like in college, you use your twenties to figure out what you really want to do. And now it's time to start thinking about. You know where you're going to go, you know if you have an art work on it, stuff. And now the time start taking vacation.
Speaker 4:Oh, for sure, Yep, yep. So you know, I'm going to end up next month going to see Beyonce. Oh, look at that.
Speaker 2:Look at that. Lay down some money for that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah. Well, not technically. I mean, they were right around my price range, but I'm going to be sitting up there with Jesus right at hey. Look, jesus and Beyonce man.
Speaker 2:That's two things that should go together. You know, terrence, I just want to thank you because you know, having the kind of that conversation that talks about you know not where I want to be. I think young people feel that way, but older people feel that way too, and not when I say older, older than you, like I don't know what older means anymore. As I get older, I think it's people older than me and you think it's people my age probably.
Speaker 2:But you know, the truth is is we all have kind of dreams and ideas that didn't quite come to pass like we thought they would, and part of the contentment and at least being a believer is kind of what Paul said wherever I am, I find a way to be content with that, and we have to keep pushing towards the goal and the calling that God has in our life, even if we don't see it realized in the timeframe we think it should be. But heck man, I mean, when I look at you, I see success and you may not see the same. You see yourself the same way, and I think we're all a little harder on ourselves. Yeah Right, nick, I mean you. I mean we just don't. We just don't give ourselves enough credit for what we're actually accomplishing.
Speaker 4:I think part of it like to answer your question part of it is social media. Um, like I'm, I've always been active like Twitter, instagram, so like the seed not even not even my peers um, because I know what my peers are doing and I'm seeing the work that they done, but seeing other people that I don't know, like whether they are on the explore page and they're out in Dubai or something like that, and it's like, oh, I got to catch up. Um, I should be doing that. Um, so it, it. It can get a little discouraging and sometimes like taking social media fastest, um, fast, like stuff I'm working on, just like, just put the phone down, go like, go to the gym. Put the phone down and go to the gym. So, um, just trying to get my body to say like it's gonna be alright, you know what I'm saying? It really used to get me down, but just trying to find different ways to better myself. A lot of self-care, yeah, because the wilderness is hard, it is hard.
Speaker 2:To find the wilderness.
Speaker 4:The wilderness is a lonely place. It might not be necessarily dark, but it's like you, probably not hearing God, but you just let in life live you a little bit, Some of it's isolation, Like with me I would just turn my phone off, just let life live me. Go to work, come home Sometimes not even praying because it's like I just read it, you know go to bed. So it's like sometimes I wake up a random day and it's like alright, we need to start making some moves, Not necessarily catch up to that person that lives in Dubai or taking vacations to Dubai, but just working on better myself, getting better every day. That's kind of what the wilderness feels like and I have this problem of like hearing God and like not making moves until God.
Speaker 2:Like Can chew in the blood.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but it's like telling myself okay, it's active faith, you got to take some steps to see something happen, Like if you're just sitting on your butt at home not doing nothing, nothing, you're not going to see change. That's right. So that's something I'm really working on for the past year.
Speaker 2:Well, let's talk about that, let's dive into that. So, you've been with us for less than a year actively.
Speaker 4:Actually next month, I think, because I was trying to think of this. I think I started coming in last October.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yeah, just less than a year right. But it'll be a year, so prior to that, tell us what your life looked like, sure.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so I was born and raised in Tallahassee.
Speaker 3:Just a regular. Oh, you live together.
Speaker 4:Yep, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, just a regular degular dude, just lived in life, just really grown up in my childhood, teenage years, just trying to figure it out, not really knowing what the path is. I did grow up in church, it wasn't a request. If you stay in my household, we go on a church on Sunday, right Understandable. You know, that's how mommas do it, that's how they were raised, so applying that same principle.
Speaker 4:Well, you have to do it the same way, yeah, and so I didn't really. The church that I was at, it was predominantly black traditional Baptist church and growing up it was just I hate to say it by force. I was heavily involved, but it was. I didn't have a choice. Like I can't hold a tune, no way. But I was in the U-Quer, I was throwing hurt in every fourth Sunday singing songs, but not necessarily knowing what I was singing.
Speaker 2:So the faith had become your own.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it was just to make mommas happy, that's right yeah.
Speaker 2:It was what you did, not necessarily why you didn't do it, for the same reason why she did it Right.
Speaker 4:So traditional black church. I've seen things that I didn't understand, that I felt like I was spiritually aligned with what I thought Christianity was.
Speaker 2:Without going into details, just give me an example of what you mean and be as vague as you need to be yeah.
Speaker 4:So, seeing Just a general thing, I would see. Why do I have to dress up to go to church? This is not me. I would rather.
Speaker 2:So some of the rules around More of the legalism around the faith, why?
Speaker 4:can't we adjordance the church Right? Or why, when I wear jeans or adjordance or casual clothes or a hat, a usher will walk, go out their way to be like take a hat off?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 4:And it's not like because I didn't want to, just questioning it. If the Bible says, come as you are, what's wrong with it? I'm just wearing casual clothes, I just want to be comfortable coming to church, so just little things like that that I just didn't understand. So when I got moved to another church, I went to another traditional black church. My mom was not happy. I was like I'm just trying to get out in this environment and it was kind of the same thing. Just a lot of things that I seen that I really questioned, I didn't understand and I still wasn't feeling like spiritually fed. So it's just weird. It was very weird. So pretty much for, like I'll say, like four to six years, I did not go to church at all.
Speaker 2:So let's fast forward. Yeah, how did you get the restoration then?
Speaker 4:Oh, so I met you at my job helping you out. I'm a personal banker, by the way, so you came in on some random day, if you need a loan.
Speaker 2:Come see.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I'm happy to have me, but just hey, I need some help doing some banking business. And I didn't initiate the conversation and it wasn't like maybe something the Lord was leading me, but I just didn't like feel it at the time. But I was like Pastor Tony, like you know, what is, what is church all about? Like, are y'all? And it was coming into the new norm where we was just coming out the week, so everybody was ready to get back outside and do their thing. So I was like Pastor Tony, like tell me about the church, and you know you get me the rundown.
Speaker 4:So like okay but I think I didn't start really going to church restoration until like two months after we first talked. That's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I see you were a text. You'd say hey, man, won't you come on over.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm definitely. When I reach out to people like that, I don't handle them, I don't. I don't make them feel bad or guilty. They're just like hey, you know, come on, you'll, you'll love it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know, it was like two months after it, so I was like, all right, let me buckle down.
Speaker 3:But you said you initiated the conversation with Pastor Tony.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Like I was like you know what with this restoration, like I'm looking for a church home but I'm not too serious, but, like you know, just picking his brain. I didn't know nothing about the church or nothing like that. I just knew that it was right next door to my job. Yeah, and I knew at the time like I needed to get back to going to church and just building like healthy habits.
Speaker 3:But well see, that's the Lord right there. That's the Lord speaking to you, telling you to get back to church.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:Right, Put it in your heart hey, talk to this guy right here. You know, I got a place I want you to go for now. You know, I don't know where you're always going to be, but right now this is where you were supposed to be, Because even the Lord is sick of everybody's religion in this world. We're not supposed to be serving all these man made rules and laws. We're just supposed to be serving his word, and so you were sick of the religion. Lord brought Tony in your life and now here you are, you know, in a pretty. You know what you consider the good church. I consider a good church too. So that's definitely the Lord working in you. Sure, you said earlier something about um. Do you know how to you? Sometimes you don't pray, Sometimes you do pray. Do you know how to pray the Lord?
Speaker 4:Um, I it's more just a conversation, just getting out all my feelings and just all my thoughts um not necessarily like a father, God of heaven. You know, just really, you know sound like um, but it's just a conversation with God, Just hey, God, I'm dealing with this situation Like I don't know what to do. Like, please, that's what he wants.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I don't want to talk to him like you know, like a normal. You know like, hey, I'm right here, beside you, right Like a person right in there, right, right.
Speaker 3:And you know, when you tell him stuff and you you plead everything to him and you pray to him and stuff you, sometimes you get the feeling he'll give you the election of of an answer. But sometimes, sometimes in my life, I hear hold on, I'm a revealist, I might not hear it right, am I so full a week later, or something, and I'll be like so I do this, so I'm not do this, and then some things will happen and that's him giving me my answer yeah, just just be patient, don't make a decision until you, until I reveal it to you. So there's some things you know you might be going on, that might be going on in your life that you're just you're. You just need to be patient and wait in here. So you see all these, all these people going on vacations and stuff. We don't know if they're paying them vacations with a credit card or not.
Speaker 4:That's true.
Speaker 3:They might have a good job, but that doesn't always mean, you know, they might be just drowning themselves in debt, trying to make themselves happy by going on to Jamaica or Dubai. You know we're all these trips and stuff. Some people actually do have a good job. They just spend all the money vacationing so they can do that. You know we can't compare our lives to other people's lives, but just do what. Like you said, focus on you, hit that gym, keep your temple in good shape and stuff. And I know from personal, because I go to the gym nearly every day Before work and I know that it keeps my mind clear Because I'm, you know, with all the exercise and it's up, it keeps the anxiety down. Not it doesn't get rid of it, but it keeps it way down. So I have more control and I can hear the Lord better. Yeah, that's good, that's awesome. You're like it sounds. From what everything you've said, it sounds like you're on the right track. I'm trying.
Speaker 4:I'm trying.
Speaker 3:Yeah, people are working. Things will come open for you, man appreciate it, appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and as we, as we got to know each other, terrence and I, I could sense that God was, was About to mess some things up in his life and, and, you know, in a good way and and change things up. And you know that it's can be a little scary, his life changes, but you know, he, he was, he came to me and he was, you know, talking about, you know, career advancement, no type of things, and and he had some opportunities and then, all of a sudden, god began to just shake it up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and now he's on the radar of his leadership, of his organization and you know they're, they're really courting him to be, you know, to move on up and you know he was thinking maybe he was stuck and all time God was about to let go and it was about to happen for him and and it's starting to do that.
Speaker 2:But even in the church you came in. You came in and you didn't know anybody, you, you, you walked in the door by yourself, you walked out of the door by yourself and then you were in this church with 235 whatever service, what you were in hundreds of people that you didn't know. You knew me, yeah, and if anybody is listening this podcast and they know me at restoration, they know I'm usually running from point A to point B and then people catch me, we talk a little bit, but, like you, didn't have my hundred percent attention. Yeah, but somehow you connected. Tell us about that journey of Finding restoration from a place that's interesting. Like it. You could. There's different enough that you were like. This is interesting.
Speaker 2:I don't want to see more about this to where it's like now. This isn't just interesting. This is where I'm at home.
Speaker 4:Tell me how that journey happened, Okay so I remember Kind of vaguely the first time I went to service. She was at baptism and I did not tell her. But Uh, miss Ursula Mm-hmm, she gives the best hugs. I don't know if you like she, like she's all every time she's at the front door, like she's always smiling, so like from the Ladder lady.
Speaker 3:Ursula Harvey yeah yeah, she dances at the front sometimes yeah.
Speaker 4:So like and she gave me a hug at baptism, like just randomly, like I was on my phone and like she just came to me and was like hey handsome. She always like hey handsome.
Speaker 4:And I was like I didn't dawn on me to tell her like yo, I love your hood, you give the best hugs, but like, starting from there, because I was like very, I'm very like Socially awkward a little bit and it's weird, cuz like I work at a bank and I'm a personal banker, so I have to socialize, so like, but that's a prescribed yeah, it's like an introvert type thing.
Speaker 4:So like meeting new people is a little weird for me, yeah, um well, you don't have a script when you're right, right, exactly at the bank you do exactly.
Speaker 4:So, like from there it was like, okay, people see you, all right, great, so I get to sit down. Worship was great. I forgot what the message was. I'm sure the message was good, I forgot. So like I remember you said hey, like when you come to church, like come see me after service. So like I approached you and you know we chatted for like a couple minutes and you're like hey, why don't you come over and me pass a letter? And I'm like no, don't do that, I'm nervous, social anxiety on Tiant. But it was a good like conversation with him and you know Me introducing myself to him easy, easy to talk, yeah he's either talk, very easy to talk to.
Speaker 4:And I walked out of service I was like, okay, I could probably come back, this is nice and I should just started coming regularly. But didn't really like, wasn't really involved, wasn't really socializing, it's just go to church, I'll probably talk to you, say hello and then just leave, and it's nothing like I don't want to socialize, it's just introvertness. And there is a point where I was traveling a lot so like probably like one or two months I stopped coming to church. Just what. If it's like two weeks a time that I don't come, then it becomes five weeks, six weeks, seven weeks.
Speaker 2:After two weeks it's hard to come.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I said two weeks is hard to come back. Yeah, a lot of people say that you're not a bit, you know. Um, so I started going back and then my girlfriend at the time she has a five-year-old. I started bringing her because the goal was More so, just to give my, my girl, a break because she's a full-time mother, you know, just hey, I got it, don't worry about it. She coming to church with me and Clara Her name is Claire, she loves Coming to church.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, she loved it. Now she gave me some heat because she has an allergy, so she wasn't feeling the goldfish.
Speaker 1:So here.
Speaker 4:Here in her complaint and like I need some McDonald's like right now, but church was good, that's, that's, that's good. Um, so that got her like really developed and they're going to church and now they live in Dallas, so like she loves going to church.
Speaker 4:But, um, sierra just reached out to me she wants to come back the restoration when she they come back to town. So yeah, um, and so like I just was trying to be consistent and come to church and then, pastor Tony, you hit me up. It was like I got some work for you. Um, I was like, okay, I guess, sure, um, and that just turned into like Now I kind of have to start coming to church, but also I want to come to church, um, and just be more spiritually fed. It's crazy because like I pray for somebody to, or just a group or a community to like Pour into me and vessel to me. So I Consider you like a spiritual father, you know, like a OG, somebody I can really like just call yeah.
Speaker 2:And a mentor role.
Speaker 4:So, like I definitely appreciate you for that, um, because I didn't even have to ask you, you just like Pour it into me. Well, god already told me that was what I had to do yeah, yeah, I didn't, you know.
Speaker 2:the key is to soft shoe it right. And Nick knows this because you've done some mentoring over the years. Right, yeah, you don't when.
Speaker 3:God, what'd you say sorry?
Speaker 2:Oh, he's my mentor as well, he did the same thing to me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, which I was. I've been looking for mentor for a few years, mm-hmm. But when God talks to you, man, you, just you, don't go and tell that person.
Speaker 2:Hey, god told me I'm supposed to spend a lot of time with you and, you know, get to know you. I mean, I just got to wait for that to click all of a sudden. Because if unless, unless, of course you're having a formal mentoring program people are applying to, then obviously yes, yeah, I'm gonna be your mentor.
Speaker 4:Well, that's that's different, but I'm gonna be your mentor.
Speaker 2:Well, that's, that's different. But in this, in and for both of you guys, really, I was like hey, you know these, god said these, these, these are your boys, like you know, take them under your wing, love on them, yeah, and see what happens. And so, um, you know, both of you guys have been a blessing to me, um, and. But going back to Terrence, I'll just say that I knew that you were looking for purpose and place. You needed a place where you had community, but you needed purpose in that community because you needed something more than just people. You needed to be doing something. And so, since you have financial management experience, we were able to quickly get you into something that we needed help with.
Speaker 2:Kind of a administrative type thing for me, but at the end of the day it's also made sure that, like you said, that you're there because I need you to be there pick some things up so you can get some things done. But what that's done for you is it's also given you kind of a sense of joy in your service. But then you wanna be there for your own spiritual growth and edification, and I've seen some growth man.
Speaker 1:I've seen some growth, so it's like and Nick.
Speaker 2:Here's what's really been cool, as God began to reveal to me he's got something great for Terence in his career and in his ministry life. That all began to happen all about the same time, like as Terence walked towards God's plan, god's path. He began to bless Terence. It was like a one for one. It wasn't like it's it for tat. It was better than that. Right it was. Look, you're looking now. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and then all these things will be added unto you. Matthew 633, right.
Speaker 2:So you began to seek first the kingdom of God, and then the other things that you've been praying for began to be added. The problem is is so many people on the social media, they had it backwards, so when all that stuff is stripped away from them, the stuff that was added to them, they won't have any foundation of hope and joy and any of the things that keep you and I, as believers, moving in the harder times. They won't have that. Their social media accounts will go dark, that's good.
Speaker 2:Because they don't have anything left. We've got something that they're gonna need, but they don't even know they need it yet. So, while they might have some junk that looks pretty, some sparkly things that all of us go wow, isn't that nice In the quiet moments of their lives they're still wrestling with the things you were wrestling with. I want people who love me, people who will pour into me. I wanna be part of a tribe, I wanna be part of a group. You know whatever that prayer was for you, and you had a longing for something that was more real than what you were experiencing at work. So part of the darkness that you were going through at work was a reflection of what was going on in your spiritual life, and we tend to not understand that sometimes God allows those dark periods of our life because of the choices we made so that we might see the illumination that is God in our life. So if everything looks bright and shiny, they all appear the same to us.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and I think the other beauty of the church is it really it does feel healthy, like I feel like I'm in a healthy environment. Now I think for me, like of course, I'm involved in the capacity working under you, but also I wanna get to know more people, so I'm in this position where I need to, you know, socialize more. But it really does feel like a community, like you walk in church and people are like greeting you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I understand. You joined a small group and you were the only guy, so I've been told you said what they didn't put on the. It should have been called the women's single group, but it was called the.
Speaker 4:SOS. It's like a season of singleness.
Speaker 2:Singly season of singleness, but it's all women.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm in that group and I actually showed up the other night. I thought I was the only guy.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, well, look, I should have warned you both, but that should have been W, women in singles, of singleness or seasons of singles.
Speaker 3:They told me I was walking by and it was like come on, nick, join this group. I'm like I'm gonna be the only guy.
Speaker 2:Listen, they've been praying for two single guys to join their group, so you know, thank God for that. But I'm proud of you, because without you guys just need to recruit a bunch more single guys to join. In that way the odds are a little more even. But I'll say I'm really proud of you, nick. You've been involved. I mean, you're in a couple of other groups too and you're just you know, you're active.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, yeah, yeah, and so Terrence, he's like being kind of the like. He said the introvert joining a group of unknown people that's smaller than the larger crowd is more intimidating, Right, Because now you've got to say something intelligent and not feel stupid right.
Speaker 4:It feels like everybody are extroverts, Everybody can socialize and I'm like there are a lot of extroverts at restoration place.
Speaker 3:It's that church. Everybody's been there for so long that they're all comfortable with each other, so they appear to be extroverts.
Speaker 2:That might be true too, I think observation.
Speaker 3:That's good, I did not try and sad rec group of a young adult college level.
Speaker 4:I'd like I've seen it.
Speaker 2:He's afraid they're going to be too young for him.
Speaker 4:I'm like again, it's the 30, it's the bout to be 30 crisis.
Speaker 2:So I'm like but you're not there yet. So live it up. Man, after you hit 30,. You're too old, I'm not going to.
Speaker 3:I guess, tony, I need to get the group then huh, yeah, man Look. In under 45 and under, or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's see.
Speaker 3:There's not a lot of people in the church.
Speaker 2:Survival year and single again group that's. Is that the group?
Speaker 3:Most people are married and stuff. And you know, I'm at the age I'm supposed to be married and getting ready to have grandkids or something you know. But oh, it's coming, brother, it's coming, you just never know it's never now. But it's hard finding friends because you know married people don't really call up the single guys who come? Hang out. You know it's a, it's a, it's a thing, it's a dynamic I'm noticing and I've told you to come over, man, but you don't come.
Speaker 2:I'm like come on over.
Speaker 3:But that's cause you have like five families living with you. Anyway, don't tell all my secrets.
Speaker 4:Don't forget the dogs. The dogs will greet you too.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, I mean, but you're right, though I mean and that's, and that's partly because that's the season there, and they're in a season of raising kids mostly, and their jobs are crazy and all that. And you know, the blessing, I think for both of you guys we'll wrap up here is is that you know you're both in a season of singleness, as the group called but that's not your that's.
Speaker 2:That does not define you Like. You're more than that. You're more than single. You're, you're called according to the purpose of God. You, you have a you. You're pressing towards the prize for that high calling in Jesus Christ. You, you know your purpose. You have joy in that purpose. It's, it's more than being single. Let me tell you a secret, though Women find that attractive when you, when you know your purpose, there's a confidence that comes with with being a a strong Christian man, who you've got your career. That's fine. But you have more than a career. You've got a balance in your life that comes through knowing the creator and because you know the creator, you also know the priority that should be coming in life, and that's that's highly attractive. It's highly attractive and it's highly attractive to other guys.
Speaker 2:From a friendship perspective. I'd rather be around other healthy guys, right, and it's very easy for my personality to attract very unhealthy people, because I used to have what the therapist called in my ministry therapy years. That was one of the things I had to do before I took a church. Several years ago they put me through during the process, had to go to a therapist to evaluate my ministry style and they said I had a Superman complex. I wanted to save everyone and I've quickly said, okay, I don't want to be that guy Like, cause, I can't. Jesus can only save people. So I was able to give that that cape back to Jesus because I was able to see well, I've been trying to put on Jesus's cape here. I need to. I just need to introduce people to him and let him do that work. You know, I just love on him but I'm not responsible for their salvation.
Speaker 2:You're the middle man. I am in a lot of ways right. All I want to do is express God's love to him and they're my unconditional acceptance of who they are. That's all I can do. Like I like the fact that I'm around guys that are real and a little bit messy and a little bit raw, you know, and guys being a little bit raw can be a little bit male in humor and all that. I'm comfortable with that because, frankly, that's how most of us think. So I'd rather be real. I don't want to be vulgar, but I'd rather be real, like, if you're struggling with with pornography, I'd rather you say, hey, man, I'm struggling with pornography and let's talk about that, than to pretend like there's no such thing as pornography in this world and it's not affecting you, because it will affect you in some way, and you know, whatever the case is, I want to have those real relationships.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and you make a great point because just about that realness and transparency, like I can speak for some other folks younger to me and in my age group where we would deal with real situations and we would hear in church just pray about it and it's like, yeah, I'm doing that but I need a little bit more than that.
Speaker 2:I need a helping hand.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah it takes more than let's throw some holy water on you and you know you'll be good tomorrow. So like reaching out to you, like hey, pashton, tony, I need help with something. And you? It's crazy. I was telling somebody the other day it's like he's a pastor but he gives like the advice that he gives is so basic but it feels so profound, and it's like it's not profound to my children, don't learn, don't learn, wait till they get older.
Speaker 4:I'm like yo, that was, and it just be like the most basic stuff, like I'd be like man, how do I save money? Well, stop eating out. Oh, I probably need to stop going to Chick-fil-A, like, if it, that's not it. That's kind of like an example, but it feels like so profound, like why did I think of that? And I think a lot of people in my age group are not getting that type of guidance, type of leadership that they're yearning for. So, like being in church and seeing that and I'm getting that, it feels good, it feels healthy and I feel like that's what you're gonna get at Restoration Place, is you're gonna get people you walk in church. Hey, how you doing. Like William, he didn't know who I was. We started interacting, handling stuff for offering, but like he pulled me to the side before church to start pouring into me, I was like, oh, okay this is good, like people really want to pour into you and want to see you grow.
Speaker 4:I think there are churches out there that don't have that type of just vibe, that type of community looking out for each other. I wish we had that, but it just takes a level of like humbleness and just not having ego to really like look at your brother, look at your sister and say I want to pour into that person, I want to help that person out. Oh, we not getting that in society a little bit? I would like to see a change, but at least I know I'm at a church that does that. I'm happy with my decision.
Speaker 2:And I think if you're listening to this and you're not in a church like that and we've got people that listen to this all over the place- Well come to Restoration Place 10 o'clock every Sunday. Yeah, that'd be great, but if people are out of the area they might not be able to make it.
Speaker 2:Right. But there are churches that are like this Around and it's mostly about finding a brother or sister in Christ and having that authentic relationship and then beginning to find out. You know where are they going, where are they fed? Because you want to, you want to go to a place where healthy people go, and so we. You can't look on the internet to find that. You need to look to your brother and sister in Christ. If they're healthy, you need to find out where they, where they go to stay healthy. And that certainly does not replace our personal responsibility for Bible study in an individual prayer. But healthy people tend to have all of that together. They're in a healthier church, they've got a healthy relationship with Christ, they have a healthy relationship with their career, with their family. All of that and not all of it is easy. I mean, all of us has stuff, but we're transparent enough with our stuff to know what isn't working well and we keep working on it.
Speaker 2:We get our help and what I said to another guy last night we were at dinner I said the only thing I really pray for our men is that we would begin to individually say what has God placed on my heart as a passion to minister or serve another person, to help another person in more simple terms, and have such a burning passion that, even if I don't know how to do it, I can reach out to my other brother that I know and say God's pushing me to do this. Can you help me help this person? I would love to be in a church that's so healthy that when the hurricane came through, that the church doesn't have to put out a call that we're gonna do something for Jefferson County or Madison because our men are like we have to do something for those people and you say, well, we can't help all those people know, but we can help one.
Speaker 2:Jesus in the parable said that he left the 90 and 90 went after the one. So we're only responsible to do one at a time. Somehow in corporate church of America we got into the mindset that we had to minister to the masses. Jesus ministered to one at a time. He ministered in groups, but the ones that were most recorded in Scripture were the ones. There's individual relationships and that's what I want for us and I'm thankful that you were on today. And, nick, thank you for for joining even remotely today. I know you were up the church working and I kind of called you at the last second, but I'm thankful for you because you know, together I think we get it and we just need to make sure that we keep telling that story. Look, each one reach one that's that's it, man.
Speaker 2:Each one reach one. Each one love another. Find out what we can do to bolster our brother or sister in Christ up, even if they're not a Christian. Help someone get them out of where they're at. We were at a session for faith and faith and health the intersection of faith and health. It was a focus group I had to go to this week and that was one of the questions like what do we do? And the real answer is it's. We can't do it all alone. We have to join together, but it needs to come from within our heart. It can't be programs, it has to be something we actually care about, and so I think each of us have an opportunity to do something amazing for the Lord.
Speaker 4:And it don't take much to really pour into somebody all it how you do me randomly. Hey, I'm just checking in just see how you're doing. I'm doing good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, make sure you hit me up Monday, man, I want to, for sure, I got you, I got you yeah.
Speaker 4:I got you for sure and like I said it just, it just takes just checking, a simple check-in. You know it doesn't take, it doesn't have to take. Oh, I'm about to come bring you in the mentorship and pour all this money. It's just hey how you doing. Just checking on your mental health, like just little practical things like that with it Makes somebody's day.
Speaker 4:Absolutely yeah cuz you never know what people going through especially, and they come in the church and they're just in the back of the church just sitting there and they just Going through it. It was a hard week, oh, and I know. For me it just feels good walking in church and it's like Somebody sees you and oh yeah, they go out your way. They're like shake your hand. I'm like on the phone, like trying to pay for offer, and no, you're gonna shake my hand. I'm like, okay, I'm doing good. So yeah, it's very healthy over here and pay it forward.
Speaker 3:That's the message, yeah like, yeah, just pay it forward what?
Speaker 2:you what you would want done to yourself, do for someone else. It'll come back to you and you know God honors that commitment that we have one for another. The Bible says that we will know we will be known by our loved one for another and that is what makes us different than the world. We love each other despite ourselves, despite the differences. The church doesn't. While we have diversity, we don't celebrate the diversity as much as we celebrate the unity. Right, we want people that are different, we want diverse people in our, in our congregations, because that's what heaven's gonna look like, but we're not celebrating the diversity. We're gonna celebrate the unity. We're gonna celebrate what unifies us and what unifies us all Jesus Christ, and that under that banner, we are all the same and we all have the same junk going on at two different degrees.
Speaker 1:None of us are perfect.
Speaker 2:We've all sinned, the Bible said, we've all fallen short of the glory of God and because of our faith in Christ, there's something more. Yeah, so thank you, terrence, for joining today. Any final words? Nick, you got anything.
Speaker 3:No, and parents of the same. You know, join the thing doesn't mean, hey, you're here to hook up with somebody, you're here to match your match, something like that. It's also just meeting other people's better when the category, you know, we're all just single people. And, like I said, mary, people don't tend to hang out with single people too much. Sometimes they do, but All we did is not. We just play games and have fun, playing cards and stuff. I wouldn't. They're trying to see who's in my. You know, who do I like?
Speaker 2:or anything like that, you know why do you think he's saying that? What do you think he's trying to prove something to himself? He had the dough, that's just claiming a little disclaimer Okay, yeah, that's, that's Nick, he's our stalker. He's in here in front of trying to land on a woman. Yeah, no, but you're right, though right we're, we don't, we shouldn't view anything that we're involved, we think is we're trying to find us a partner. God will bring us. The more you look, usually, the harder is to find one.
Speaker 2:So just be who God's created to be, and and that's what it's about. So again, thank you guys for joining. Hope you enjoyed the podcast tonight or today. Make sure that you like the podcast, share comments and share it as well on your social media networks and with your friends and family, if it's been a blessing to you again. Thank you again and have a great week. We'll see you next time.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us today on all the Kingsman. Please share, subscribe and like the podcast anytime you can. To contact Pastor Tony email Tony at my RPTorg. He would love to connect with you on behalf of Pastor Tony and all of us at Restoration Place. Have a great week and we will see you next time.
